Sh*t My Dad Says

　　★ 連霸《紐約時報》暢銷榜第一名11週，總入榜週數35週
　　★ AMAZON銷售不分類即時排行榜第一名
　　★ 真人實事，創下美國網路傳奇紀錄，260萬推特跟隨者爭睹經典語錄
　　★ 挾全球百萬本銷售能量，一路竄升紅到改拍為電視影集，續集蓄勢待發

　　29歲的賈斯汀．哈本，女友跑了，沒住處，差點連車子都拋錨，走投無路時，想起可以回聖地牙哥投靠老爸。他戰戰兢兢地回家求宿，正打算清楚列舉事實、有條不紊地論述，並援引判例加以佐證時，老爸回他一句：「你不需要跟我扯一堆有的沒的屁話，想住就住。房間那些亂七八糟的東西收拾乾淨就好，不然亂得跟剛辦完轟趴一樣。」

　　然後他接著說：「哦，你剛說被女朋友甩啦？可憐。」

　　就這樣，賈斯汀．哈本開始了新生活。在家中客廳工作的他每天都會受到老爸直率真話的攻擊人生智慧的洗禮，於是他開始把老爸的「每日金句」放在MSN離線訊息。這些句子越來越受歡迎，朋友建議他乾脆申請推特帳號，記錄那些令人拍案叫絕的快言快語。就這樣，「碰！」，@ShitMyDadSays出現了，且追隨人數就像溫室裡的黴菌一樣瘋狂成長，先是一千，隔天變一萬，然後是五萬、十萬、二十萬、三十萬。突然之間，哈本老爸的大頭照和名言嘉句出現在網路每個角落，接著版權代理商打來說想出書，電視製作人邀請他上節目，記者如螞蟻般成群結隊地前來採訪……

　　至於老爸聽到這消息之後是什麼反應？

　　「干我屁事？別人怎麼看我是他家的事。你愛出書就出書，我只有兩個原則：不准找人來採訪我，還有，你賺的錢自己留著。我他媽的自己有錢，不需要你來養。」

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is ”like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

　　”That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won’t screw you. Don’t do it for them.”

　　”Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.”

　　”The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.”

　　More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern’s philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny’s, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns’ kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

　　本書中譯版《我的老爸鬼話連篇》由大家出版社出版發行。

作者簡介

賈斯汀．哈本(Justin Halpern)

　　賈斯汀．哈本有個全天下最不拐彎抹角的老爸，年幼時他壓根不知道自己是否該以此慶幸，直到進入社會後，成天得應付一堆口是心非的同事和親友，才越發欣賞老爸那瘋子般的發言和坦率的性格。

　　2009年夏天，賈斯汀．哈本設了一個推特帳號，記錄老爸每日令人叫絕的快人快語。一個月內，@shitmydadsays成了美國網際網路的轟動事件，260萬以上的推特追隨者，一日沒聽哈本老爸直指人心地罵個幾句就渾身不痛快。

　　Justin Halpern is the founding editor of the comedy website HolyTaco.com and a senior writer at Maxim.com. Halpern created the Twitter page ”Shit My Dad Says,” which boasts more than a million followers, and is co writing and coproducing a sitcom adaptation for CBS. He splits his time between Los Angeles and his parents’ home in San Diego.