Geek Poems

"A completely unique take on life in hell. Snappy dialog and a bizarre backdrop set this adventure tale apart from the pack." --Christopher Moore, author of Practical Demonkeeping, The Stupidest Angel, and Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal The Distance Travelled By Brett Alexander Savory "A completely unique take on life in hell. Snappy dialog and a bizarre backdrop set this adventure tale apart from the pack." --Christopher Moore, author of Practical Demonkeeping, The Stupidest Angel, and Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal Why have certain denizens of Hell taken to throwing farm animals through innocent folks��kitchen windows? How long does it take a dead, desiccated gas attendant to walk out to his pumps? What sort of relationship do the Lord of the Underworld and Hell�� Head Torturer have besides the obvious professional one? What kind of air conditioning units do they use down there? Do they listen to Cyndi Lauper? What is Hell�� official currency, and by what criteria did The Big Red Fella choose it? Can pigs eat cereal with a spoon? What nameless beast dwells in the flame pit near the hole to Upside? What is Upside, for that matter, and why should you care anyway? Within the pages of this book, you will find the answers to these pressing questions, as well as answers to other, significantly less pressing, questions...Welcome to Hell! Where your torture sessions are scheduled...And pigs fall from the sky...And a little girl from the Upside is missing...And it's up to one of Hell's least likely denizens to find her...Along with the girl's brother, a walking skeleton of a man who may just be older than time, a giant Hell rat and a gorgeous woman with too many secrets, he ventures into the heart of Hell to find some answers...And maybe miss a torture session or two.��rett A. Savory goes to Hell--not in a handbasket, but behind the wheel of a kickass El Camino--in this un-Divine Comedy. Slapstick, surreal, and definitely scorching, The Distance Travelled offers mirth and mayhem with (dare I say?) devilish glee, and on the far side of the heat is a moving meditation on the role of here in the hereafter. It's a wild and wonderful journey, so climb aboard...but look out for the flying pigs!��--Douglas E. Winter, author of Run ��wo questions for Brett Savory: ��hat're you smoking?��And ��ay we please all have some?��The Distance Travelled is an ergot-spawned argot of a novel that nabs its readers for a ride Charlie Starkweather'd be too chicken to take. Not since Lord of the Flies has fiction been so rough on a Piggy. Now, where'd I put those damned glasses?��--Michael Marano, author of Dawn Song �� loved it. Stylish, fun, and neatly turned. Distinctive and bizarre��nd I mean that in a good way��his is a fine ride through some very unusual territories." --Michael Marshall Smith, author of Spares and Only Forward ��rue Grit meets Falling Angel...The Distance Travelled reads like a blissed-out round-the-table collaboration between Kinky Friedman, Clive Barker, Jim Thompson, Dante, and Thorne Smith. It's a Hell we could all learn to love--kind of--and Brett Savory is a very bad man. But the good news is that it�� safer for us all that he�� writing this stuff down rather than living it.��--Peter Crowther, author of Escardy Gap (with James Lovegrove) and The Longest Single Note